He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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