ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
