on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
