Buhtt sex?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
