Don't make out with my wife yet
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
