I got chris browned last night
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
