Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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