it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
