I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
