i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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