I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
