You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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