We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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