so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
this is an emotional support booty call
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
