I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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