Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
