My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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