Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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