when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
