And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
