I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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