Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
