yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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