we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
