"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
