Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you had me at cake vodka
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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