i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
