singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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