He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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