Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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