lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
