Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
