Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
