We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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