I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
