the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
