ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
