If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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