Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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