awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
