i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
