Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
