my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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