Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
