Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
