I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize