By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize