Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
