some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
