The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
