did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Send help, water and tortillas.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize