And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found puke in my bra..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
