That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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