Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.đź’¨
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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