i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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